A Life Out of Control
I came from a close family where I was surrounded with love and support. I was a dreamer – carefree and free spirited. My family encouraged my creative energy. I was extremely introverted and shy. I would turn to the pages of my journal and live in my own world when I was growing up. I found it hard to accept reality.
In junior high I began smoking pot. I figured that way I wouldn’t have to face reality. By high school I was under the impression that life was a party. I was going to “live it up” while I was young. I loved music and art. I always wanted to be a writer, but those dreams took second place to my party lifestyle.
After high school I decided not to continue with my education, I had too much partying to do. I wanted to see the world and just have a good time. My drinking got out of control. Soon I was seeing a doctor just for the prescriptions I could abuse.
I watched many friends go through college and do something constructive with their lives. The party had ended, but I kept going. The sad part of it was the world I so desperately wanted was happening all around me and moving on without me being a part of it. I’d given up on my dreams and moved on to hard drugs. My family watched in disbelief as I slowly destroyed my life. I was in complete misery. What had begun as a good time had transformed into abuse, addiction and complete powerlessness.
One winter when I was with two close friends, the unimaginable happened. We were all using drugs together and they both overdosed and died in front of me. I could not save them. My life spiraled out of control. I isolated myself from the world, did more drugs washing them down with more alcohol. I figured this is how life was and I was ready to give up.
In order to maintain any kind of contact with my family, I agreed to talk to a counselor. I completed a drug evaluation and that is when I was told about the Stephen Center. I honestly think it was that small shred of hope that I might be able to get my life back that caused me to apply to the HERO Program.
I came to the Stephen Center so broken and hopeless, so scared and empty. With the support of the staff and friends that I’ve made here, I was able to understand my addiction and the way it played a role in my life. I was able to see I had a future – a life worth living – and most importantly, I was able to have hope again.
I now have a great relationship with my family and was able to get an awesome job at Stephen Center Thrift. I’ll be starting college in the spring. I am taking music lessons and writing again! The dreams that I had put aside have been dusted off and placed first in my life, along with my sobriety. So many doors are opening up for me and the world that I so desperately wanted to see is right in front of me and waiting.
Thanks to the Stephen Center and my will to live. My name is Jennifer and I’m a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I’ve been sober since July 15, 2009.
