Time to Break the Cycle
Hi, my name is Ruth. I am a 44 year old college educated woman. I am intelligent, witty and smart. I am also homeless. How you may ask could such a thing happen to someone smart and intelligent. Well, I will tell you.
I was born the youngest in a family of 11 children—six boys and five girls. Ours was a very traditional dysfunctional family. My father was a classic alcoholic. Four of the six boys have been on drugs and all of my sisters, including myself have tried to commit suicide at least once.
If you have never been in an alcoholic family, you have never experienced real chaos. My mother, whom I loved very dearly, was and is the smartest person I've ever known. She is also the person who taught me co-dependency. Whenever my brothers had problems stemming from drug addiction or some other life crisis, we all stopped our lives and ran to help. When you constantly help others with their life, your life tends to go to hell. You also become addicted to crisis and avoid your own issues.
Someone once told me the first things we learn in life are the hardest to forget—so true. As I began dating, I noticed most of my choices in men were all the same. The men I ended up with were just as broken as me and our relationships were toxic. The last relationship I was in, the man was heavily into drugs and as always I was there to pick up the pieces. The relationship became violent and I left. When I left I felt a lot of shame and guilt. Shame because I had not been able to repair his illness of addiction and also because I had to come to a homeless shelter and guilt because I had made another bad choice.
I didn’t make a bad choice in coming to the Stephen Center. Since coming here, I have focused on myself and my issues. I have applied for housing and registered to go back to school to get my certification in nursing. I have also began counseling for domestic violence and self-esteem building. I am also a part of a program through the YWCA called "Bridges to Opportunities" that helps people move towards self-sufficiency. The Stephen Center is not just a shelter. If you really want to turn your life around, the staff will assist you to make the necessary changes to move on to self-sufficiency.
