Success Story: Stepping Out in Faith
Finally, no more handcuffs, court dates, probation, jail, prison or parole. My abusive lifestyle began around the age of six years old. After being sexually violated by a trusted loved one, I became very withdrawn. I always felt like I was different and never belonged. Growing up in a single parent home, along with five older sisters, I still feared my own shadow.
In my teenage years, I got involved with a young man who became very abusive to me. I accepted the physical and emotional abuse. I believed I wasn’t good enough to pursue anyone who I thought was good. I was unworthy and damaged goods. I distanced myself from most of my family and friends. Overtime, along with the guilt and shame I felt, I welcomed depression. Beer and crack cocaine became my new comfort. My new “Best Friends”.
After my mother’s death in 1989, I became hopeless of any worthy future. I trusted my new friends wholeheartedly. They led me, blindly, day-after-day for many years to come. They kept me out of reach and touch with my loved ones. I lived unreachable from any support. My shoplifting career took off. I felt happy about my new income, host of friends and my new courage to be myself. I could finally have what I wanted. I was always “not feeling” no matter what happened. As long as I was high, I was okay with that.
Sooner or later, the consequences of my behavior materialized. It seemed like a revolving door at the county jail and York prison. I finally got sober there and was introduced to Alcoholics and Cocaine Anonymous. I still hated myself so I was unable to obtain and use the knowledge that was freely given to me. After several attempts, I realized that I needed some help. I’m going to try this Power Greater than myself, “GOD”. I asked Him to clean me up and restore me, just for today. He did more than I could imagine. He gave me hope, faith, love, emotional healing and forgiveness. I got my life back. I began to know and like myself.
There have been many hardships with my new life. My 10 year old twin’s father died in April of this year. They were diagnosed bipolar and we became homeless. I prayed to God for shelter from it all. I was encouraged to step out in faith and call Stephen Center. Here, we were welcomed with compassion and open arms. While staying at the Shelter, with the staff’s support, my family has endured many more crises. Loss of job, car breaking down and both sons’ disabilities consume much of my time. Through it all, I have received more sobriety, blessings from God, self-respect, dignity, honesty, humility and a new willingness to live. I have the okay to trust God and myself today.
With the help of Stephen Center, I am pressing towards my goals of housing and stability. God is still my refuge and has truly blessed my family with restoration. He is my strength and the love of my life.
